An Inspiration from the ERA of my Grandparents who are my Best friends!
Those were the days my friend, I thought they’d never end ….And as the story went on my grandmother and Grandfather started to tell me their bygone Era. No wonder I always found them to be more understanding than my Parents at most times- ROFL !– Read how-
My Grandmother started–“We used to live in Multan in Pakistan and were travelling back to Quetta when my Uncles Friend tagged along with him just for fun. In the midway the friend asked my uncle…Who is this young girl? My Uncle told him and that was the time he (my grandfather!) fell for me.”
I asked my Grandfather – Nana did you actually fall in Love? Blushing and smiling he said- “She was very dark in complexion and I was very fair , She was from a very poor family and I was the Son of a renowned well to do Professor but what struck me was her simplicity and intelligence so when my Lalaji (Grandfather’s Dad) was approached and he asked me I said yes”. Further he said- “My father was a Professor and had studied from Lahore University. He was a very open minded person and for him complexion, status, nothing mattered and he was a very secular person.” I thank my Great Grandfather that I got to be Family with such a wonderful Couple !
They waited for 5 long years for marriage not knowing each others whereabouts during partition, but they were meant to be ! They are in their 64th year of marriage still going Rock Solid! May God Bless them always! (Touch wood!)
I asked my Grandfather – Nana did you actually fall in Love? Blushing and smiling he said- “She was very dark in complexion and I was very fair , She was from a very poor family and I was the Son of a renowned well to do Professor but what struck me was her simplicity and intelligence so when my Lalaji (Grandfather’s Dad) was approached and he asked me I said yes”. Further he said- “My father was a Professor and had studied from Lahore University. He was a very open minded person and for him complexion, status, nothing mattered and he was a very secular person.” I thank my Great Grandfather that I got to be Family with such a wonderful Couple !
They waited for 5 long years for marriage not knowing each others whereabouts during partition, but they were meant to be ! They are in their 64th year of marriage still going Rock Solid! May God Bless them always! (Touch wood!)
Then they mentioned about Partition . That’s when there was so much of fear . It gripped the entire nation , especially those who were to move to their divided Motherlands .It changed the minds of the people from being Open minded to becoming fearful and narrow minded . No matter what but people were constantly under vigilance and fear and it was not safe for anyone to move around freely. Immediately after Independence also , things were settling down but the fear was there of the brutality of the partition times . Girls were not allowed to come in the main streams . To keep earning members Boys were preferred and girls were aborted (The craze for boy child was there during the British Raj too but they did not kill any child just kept on having more children till they had a boy)
My Mother and her sisters were highly protected and though all studied in the best schools they were not given the freedom that we get now. [Here I would mention that my Grandmother was a daughter of an Engine Driver in the Railways yet she studied till Prabhakar (Equivalent to Honours ) and was a teacher but after partition and independence she was only inclined to the house because of fear inspite of having very open minded In-Laws]
My Mother and her sisters were highly protected and though all studied in the best schools they were not given the freedom that we get now. [Here I would mention that my Grandmother was a daughter of an Engine Driver in the Railways yet she studied till Prabhakar (Equivalent to Honours ) and was a teacher but after partition and independence she was only inclined to the house because of fear inspite of having very open minded In-Laws]
Coming back to the fear , Men had to take the forefront in such a scenario. Only few Women who were daring enough were at par with the Men. But this started to dwindle and women were confined totally to household chores. Even if they were allowed to go to school they would be married off and the studies were not at all important. This resulted in uneducation of the women and lowering their status in society.
What happened if Men were asked to sit home ? I am sure they would land up in the same scenario as the Women have! Now even in the changing times Women have come into the mainstream again OR should I put it THEY ARE, BUT NOT YET FULLY ARRIVED ! We are still fighting for equality; we are still in a Male Dominated World. No I am not a feminist but I am talking facts .
Ask Parents who are in the age of 50-60 to go against society to make things better –Not many would dare take a risk and do that. The deterioration of the 64 years of Independence has taken a bigger toll of negativity than the positivity. We have Corruption because its what these age of 50-60 years of politicians and people who saw their parents post independence say MONEY IS EVERYTHING because it really were tough times when a family of 8-10 children were to be brought up and they had a poor childhood. These children grew up to understand that being Happy was only when one had lots of money so they Made money , SAVED MONEY and that greed still Continues!
Ask 75 plus who saw times prior independence and their answer would be – Do what gives you happiness, Society will anyways not be yours totally. Look to your family and be firm in your decisions, Society will accept and keep their mouth shut. People in the Grandparents Era were Self Made People and so they had qualities of leadership in them. Even Women were really Bold.And so what happened to the more future generations – In times now we see parents Working and giving no time to their children. They certainly fulfill the wishes of the children but its all around Money. Parents also want to live their lives and catch up on their childhood fantasies of freedom which they were denied and Children take up those habits most of the times in a wrong way.
Tough we are heading to a BETTER WORLD but instead of taking the positive from our Grandparents times we are only learning to live what we have been watching our parents do. MONEY AND SOCIETY COMES FIRST , FEELINGS COME SECOND AND SO WE HAVE SO MANY TROUBLED RELATIONSHIPS.
If given a choice how many would agree to get their children marry a Dark Partner as my Grandfather was or if not complexion then in a different caste , age difference or from a Lower Status of Society? Would you even like the fact that they fell in Love ? Forget about Love or Marriage ITS ALL A PROBLEM OF GOING AGAINST SOCIETY WHICH IS NOTHING BUT A FORTRESS WHICH BINDS PEOPLE AND STOPS TO CHANGE EVEN THOUGH IT MAY BE FOR THE BETTER.
I have to say- WE ARE ALREADY DEVELOPED FINANCIALLY, WE NEED TO DEVELOP OUR MINDS, THEN ONLY CAN WE HAVE A TOTALLY DEVELOPED NATION ! HELP THE NEW GENERATIONS TO BE ETHICAL AND GIVE RIGHTFUL CHOICES AND WE WILL BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NATION THE WORLD WILL ENVY!
With due respects for all parents am troubled by the fact that New Generations are not evolving with the Right Thoughts and have Conflicting Personalities. Hence they land up into Drug abuse, Alcoholism, Suicides, Broken Relationships and all they long for is Peace within themselves. Sad Part is sometimes they are not sure what their parents would like and hide their true personalities . They go with the flow as per their thought process fearing parents denial . In the bargain they leave their own happiness only to be living a life to make adjustments! Sadly even if once they get a feeling that they would be better off going their way, they have fooled only themselves. Parents will be there for sometime but happiness will suffer in the bargain!
FINALLY, I put up a Question for you all - BE TRUE TO YOURSELF – You are your own Lie detector ….
Are we Open minded than our Grandparents times, The British Raj or have we shrunk ourselves into the adjustments that Society Pressures (which Parents fear so we too fear) and MONEY GAME has brought in current Times ?
Would Love to get views to be able to understand Better ……
